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	<title>geschonneck.com &#187; Humor</title>
	<atom:link href="http://geschonneck.com/category/humor/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://geschonneck.com</link>
	<description>This is the private security page of Alexander Geschonneck (Berlin, Germany).</description>
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		<item>
		<title>Anonymous Quote</title>
		<link>http://geschonneck.com/2008/05/21/anonymous-quote/</link>
		<comments>http://geschonneck.com/2008/05/21/anonymous-quote/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 May 2008 16:53:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexander Geschonneck</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Forensics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://geschonneck.com/?p=164</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“If you’re a good hacker…everybody knows. If you’re a GREAT hacker…nobody knows.”]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img style="vertical-align: middle; margin-left: 3px; margin-right: 3px;" src="/images/icons/emoticon_evilgrin.png" alt="icon" width="16" height="16" />“If you’re a good hacker…<span id="more-164"></span>everybody knows.<br />
If you’re a GREAT hacker…<strong>nobody</strong> knows.”</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Security Public Relation Excuse Bingo</title>
		<link>http://geschonneck.com/2008/02/28/security-public-relation-excuse-bingo/</link>
		<comments>http://geschonneck.com/2008/02/28/security-public-relation-excuse-bingo/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Feb 2008 13:43:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexander Geschonneck</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://geschonneck.com/2008/02/28/security-public-relation-excuse-bingo/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You know them from a security incident follow up meeting, a security audit exit meeting or a vendor prensentation: excuses for not caring about security the right way. You can now choose your excuse from the Security Public Relation Excuse Bingo. My favorite is: What kind of a person looks for flaws?]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="/images/icons/emoticon_evilgrin.png" alt="icon" align="absmiddle" height="16" hspace="3" width="16" />You know them from a security incident follow up meeting, a security audit exit meeting or a vendor prensentation:  excuses for not caring about security the right way. You can now choose your excuse from <span id="more-153"></span>the<a href="http://www.crypto.com/bingo/pr" target="_blank"> Security Public Relation Excuse Bingo</a>. <img src="http://geschonneck.com/wp-content/plugins/more-smilies/Phoenity/cool.png" alt="8-)" class="wp-smiley" /> </p>
<p>My favorite is:  What kind of a person looks for flaws?</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>forecast for 2008</title>
		<link>http://geschonneck.com/2008/01/13/forecast-for-2008/</link>
		<comments>http://geschonneck.com/2008/01/13/forecast-for-2008/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 13 Jan 2008 17:51:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexander Geschonneck</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://geschonneck.com/2008/01/13/forecast-for-2008/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[shown at the 24c3]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="/images/24c3.jpg" alt="24c3" align="absmiddle" hspace="3" /></p>
<p>shown at the <a href="http://events.ccc.de/congress/2007/Main_Page" target="_blank">24c3</a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Secure Coding</title>
		<link>http://geschonneck.com/2007/08/01/secure-coding/</link>
		<comments>http://geschonneck.com/2007/08/01/secure-coding/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Aug 2007 12:52:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexander Geschonneck</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[crypto]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://geschonneck.com/2007/08/01/secure-coding/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[via]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span id="more-126"></span></p>
<p><img src="http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/code_talkers.png" title="Code Talkers" alt="Code Talkers" height="397" width="500" /></p>
<p><a href="http://xkcd.com/257/" target="_blank">via</a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>making fun of &#8220;duck and cover&#8221; pictures</title>
		<link>http://geschonneck.com/2007/02/14/making-fun-of-duck-and-cover-pictures/</link>
		<comments>http://geschonneck.com/2007/02/14/making-fun-of-duck-and-cover-pictures/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Feb 2007 07:07:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexander Geschonneck</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[homeland security]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://geschonneck.com/2007/02/14/making-fun-of-duck-and-cover-pictures/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The US government has a website with some &#8220;duck and cover&#8221; pictures. The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could realy mean anything!Safenow.org has a few interpretations. I like those: If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="/images/icons/emoticon_evilgrin.png" title="icon" alt="icon" align="absmiddle" height="16" hspace="3" width="16" />The US government has a <a href="http://www.ready.gov/">website</a> with some &#8220;duck and cover&#8221; pictures.  The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could realy mean anything!<span id="more-110"></span><a href="http://www.safenow.org/" target="_blank">Safenow.org</a> has a few interpretations.<br />
I like those:</p>
<table>
<tr>
<td><img src="http://www.safenow.org/images/vis_high_stay.gif" align="left" height="169" width="153" /></td>
<td><em>If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.</em></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><img src="http://www.safenow.org/images/vis_chem_fish2.gif" align="left" height="155" width="141" /></td>
<td width="75%"><font face="Verdana" size="2"><em>In time of war, real Americans eat red meat only! No wimpy fish or poultry, please.</em></font></td>
</tr>
</table>
<p>thanks to <a href="http://stderr.de" target="_blank">pluto</a></p>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>&#8220;The ultimate firewall&#8221; revisited</title>
		<link>http://geschonneck.com/2007/02/03/the-ultimate-firewall-revisited/</link>
		<comments>http://geschonneck.com/2007/02/03/the-ultimate-firewall-revisited/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 03 Feb 2007 18:35:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexander Geschonneck</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Firewalls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security in practice]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://geschonneck.com/2007/02/03/the-ultimate-firewall-revisited/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Remember the Ultimate firewall of Marcus J. Ranum? He build a new version, inspired by powerpoint icons from firewall vendor presentations. So true. Well kids, don&#8217;t try this at your DMZ or backyard Can you see the open TCP port 80 in the middle&#8230; &#8230;and what happens with port 80? Burned down after 10 minutes [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="/images/firewall_icon.jpg" title="Firewall Icon" alt="Firewall Icon" align="absmiddle" height="26" hspace="3" width="28" />Remember the <a href="http://www.ranum.com/security/computer_security/papers/a1-firewall/index.html" target="_blank">Ultimate firewall</a> of Marcus J. Ranum? He build a new version, inspired by powerpoint  icons from firewall vendor presentations.  So true. Well kids, don&#8217;t try this at your DMZ or backyard<span id="more-109"></span></p>
<p><img src="/images/firewall_taken_from_ranumcom_1.jpg" title="The Ultimate Firewall (taken from ranum.com)" alt="The Ultimate Firewall (taken from ranum.com)" /></p>
<p>Can you see the open TCP port 80 in the middle&#8230;
</p>
<p><img src="/images/firewall_taken_from_ranumcom_2.jpg" title="Port 80 exploited (taken from ranum.com)" alt="Port 80 exploited (taken from ranum.com)" height="400" width="500" /><br />
&#8230;and what happens with port 80? Burned down after 10 minutes under fire.</p>
<p>Read the full story <a href="http://www.ranum.com/fun/bsu/ultimatefirewall/index.html" target="_blank">here</a></p>
<p>©Pictures taken by Marcus J. Ranum</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Perl hackers are forensics superheroes</title>
		<link>http://geschonneck.com/2007/01/29/perl-hackers-are-forensics-superheroes/</link>
		<comments>http://geschonneck.com/2007/01/29/perl-hackers-are-forensics-superheroes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 29 Jan 2007 15:58:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexander Geschonneck</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Forensics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[computer forensics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[digital forensics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perl regular expressions]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://geschonneck.com/2007/01/29/perl-hackers-are-forensics-superheroes/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[via via]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span id="more-107"></span><img src="http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/regular_expressions.png" align="left" height="448" width="444" /></p>
<p><a href="http://xkcd.com/c208.html" target="_blank">via</a> <a href="http://forensicblog.org/2007/01/10/digital-forensics-in-a-comic/" target="_blank">via</a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Leet police in Germany</title>
		<link>http://geschonneck.com/2007/01/07/leet-police-in-germany/</link>
		<comments>http://geschonneck.com/2007/01/07/leet-police-in-germany/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 07 Jan 2007 10:22:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexander Geschonneck</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[31337]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://geschonneck.com/2007/01/07/leet-police-in-germany/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was wondering, if they know the &#8220;secret&#8221; code (in German) behind the licence plate?]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was wondering, if they know the &#8220;secret&#8221; <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/31337" target="_blank">code</a> (in <a href="http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/31337" target="_blank">German</a>) behind the licence plate?  <img src="http://geschonneck.com/wp-content/plugins/more-smilies/Phoenity/mrgreen.png" alt="mrgreen" class="wp-smiley" /> </p>
<p><span id="more-99"></span></p>
<p><img src="/images/police_eleet.jpg" alt="Police 31337" title="Police 31337" height="343" width="458" /></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Privacy: sad but true</title>
		<link>http://geschonneck.com/2007/01/02/privacy-sad-but-true/</link>
		<comments>http://geschonneck.com/2007/01/02/privacy-sad-but-true/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Jan 2007 08:56:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexander Geschonneck</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[privacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RFID]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://geschonneck.com/2007/01/02/privacy-sad-but-true/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[via Packetstorm]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span id="more-94"></span><img src="/images/rfid.jpg" alt="RFID FUN" title="RFID FUN" height="480" width="640" /></p>
<p>via <a href="http://www.packetstormsecurity.n" target="_blank">Packetstorm</a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Has your credit card number been stolen on the internet?</title>
		<link>http://geschonneck.com/2006/12/15/has-your-credit-card-number-been-stolen-on-the-internet/</link>
		<comments>http://geschonneck.com/2006/12/15/has-your-credit-card-number-been-stolen-on-the-internet/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 15 Dec 2006 11:16:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexander Geschonneck</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fraud]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://geschonneck.com/2006/12/15/has-your-credit-card-number-been-stolen-on-the-internet/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I found this working web form somewhere on the net. Funny.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I found this <strong>working web form </strong>somewhere on the net. Funny.<span id="more-87"></span></p>
<p><img src="/images/credit_card.gif" alt="Credit Card Fraud Detector" height="60" width="468" /></p>
<p style="text-align: center"><img src="/images/linie.gif" alt="line" /></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Things you do NOT want your System Administrator to say.</title>
		<link>http://geschonneck.com/2006/11/30/things-you-do-not-want-your-system-administrator-to-say/</link>
		<comments>http://geschonneck.com/2006/11/30/things-you-do-not-want-your-system-administrator-to-say/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 30 Nov 2006 14:41:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexander Geschonneck</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://geschonneck.com/2006/11/30/things-you-do-not-want-your-system-administrator-to-say/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Things you do NOT want your System Administrator to say, from Packetstormsecurity. Verry funny. Some of my favorites are: That&#8217;s SOOOOO bizarre. What do you mean that could take down the whole network? What do you mean you needed that directory? Ooops. Save your work, everyone. FAST! Uh-oh&#8230;.. Shit!! What the hell!? Go get your [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="/images/icons/emoticon_evilgrin.png" alt="icon" align="absmiddle" height="16" width="16" /> Things you do <em>NOT</em> want your System Administrator to say, from Packetstormsecurity. Verry funny. Some of my favorites are:</p>
<ul>
<li>That&#8217;s SOOOOO bizarre.</li>
<li>What do you mean that could take down the whole network?</li>
<li>What do you mean you needed that directory?</li>
<li>Ooops.  Save your work, everyone.  <strong>FAST!</strong></li>
</ul>
<p><span id="more-89"></span></p>
<blockquote>
<ol>
<li>Uh-oh&#8230;..</li>
<li>Shit!!</li>
<li>What the hell!?</li>
<li>Go get your backup tape. (You <strong>do</strong> have a backup tape?)</li>
<li>That&#8217;s SOOOOO bizarre.</li>
<li>Wow!! Look at this&#8230;..</li>
<li>Hey!! The suns don&#8217;t do this.</li>
<li>Terminated??!</li>
<li>What software license?</li>
<li>Well, it&#8217;s doing <strong>something</strong>&#8230;..</li>
<li>Wow&#8230;.that seemed <strong>fast</strong>&#8230;..</li>
<li>I got a better job at Lockheed&#8230;</li>
<li>Management says&#8230;</li>
<li>Sorry, the new equipment didn&#8217;t get budgetted.</li>
<li>What do you mean that wasn&#8217;t a copy?</li>
<li>It didn&#8217;t do that a minute ago&#8230;</li>
<li>Where&#8217;s the GUI on this thing?</li>
<li>Damn, and I just bought that pop&#8230;</li>
<li>Where&#8217;s the DIR command?</li>
<li>The drive ate the tape but that&#8217;s OK, I brought my screwdriver.</li>
<li>I cleaned up the root partition and now there&#8217;s <strong>lots</strong> of free space.</li>
<li>What&#8217;s this &#8220;any&#8221; key I&#8217;m supposed to press?</li>
<li>Do you smell something?</li>
<li>What&#8217;s that grinding sound?</li>
<li>I have never seen it do *that* before&#8230;</li>
<li>I think it should not be doing that&#8230;</li>
<li>I remember the last time I saw it do that&#8230;</li>
<li>You might as well all go home early today &#8230;</li>
<li>My leave starts tomorrow.</li>
<li>Ooops.</li>
<li>Hmm, maybe if I do this&#8230;</li>
<li>&#8220;Why is my &#8220;rm *.o&#8221; taking so long?&#8221;</li>
<li>Hmmm, curious&#8230;</li>
<li>Well, <strong>my</strong> files were backed up.</li>
<li>What do you mean you needed that directory?</li>
<li>What do you mean /home was on that disk?  I umounted it!</li>
<li>Do you really need your home directory to do any work?</li>
<li>Oracle will be down until 8pm, but you can come back in and finish your work when it comes up tonight.</li>
<li>I didn&#8217;t think anybody would be doing any work at 2am, so I killed your job.</li>
<li>Yes, I chowned all the files to belong to pvcs.  Is that a problem to you?</li>
<li>We&#8217;re standardizing on AIX.</li>
<li>Wonder what <em>this</em> command does?</li>
<li>What did you say your (l)user name was&#8230;?  <img src="http://geschonneck.com/wp-content/plugins/more-smilies/Phoenity/wink.png" alt="-)" class="wp-smiley" /> </li>
<li>You did <strong>what</strong> to the floppy???</li>
<li>Sorry, we deleted that package last week&#8230;</li>
<li>NO!  Not <strong>that</strong> button!</li>
<li>Uh huh&#8230;&#8230;&#8221;nu -k $USER&#8221;.. no problem&#8230;.sure thing&#8230;</li>
<li>Sorry, we deleted that package last week&#8230;</li>
<li>[looks at workstation] &#8220;Say, what version of DOS is this running?&#8221;</li>
<li>Oops! (said in a quiet, almost surprised voice)</li>
<li><strong>YEEEHA!!!</strong>  What a <strong>CRASH!!!</strong></li>
<li>What do you mean that could take down the whole network?</li>
<li>What&#8217;s this switch for anyways&#8230;?</li>
<li>Tell me again what that &#8216;-r&#8217; option to rm does</li>
<li>Say, What does &#8220;Superblock Error&#8221; mean, anyhow?</li>
<li>If I knew it wasn&#8217;t going to work, I would have tested it sooner.</li>
<li>Was that <strong>your</strong> directory?</li>
<li>System coming down in 0 min&#8230;.</li>
<li>The backup procedure works fine, but the restore is tricky!</li>
<li>Hey Fred, did you save that posting about restoring filesystems with vi and a toothpick? More importantly, did you print it out?</li>
<li>OH, SH*T! (as they scrabble at the keyboard for ^c).</li>
<li>The sprinkler system isn&#8217;t supposed to leak is it?</li>
<li>It is only a minor upgrade, the system should be back up in a few hours.  (This is said on a monday afternoon.)</li>
<li>I think we can plug just one more thing in to this outlet strip with out triping the breaker.</li>
<li>What is all this I here about static charges destroying computers?</li>
<li>I found this rabbit program that is supposed to test system performance and I have it running now.</li>
<li>Ummm&#8230; Didn&#8217;t you say you turned it off?</li>
<li>The network&#8217;s down, but we&#8217;re working on it. Come back after diner. (Usually said at 2200 the night before thesis deadline&#8230;)</li>
<li>Ooops.  Save your work, everyone.  <strong>FAST!</strong></li>
<li>Boy, it&#8217;s a lot easier when you know what you&#8217;re doing.</li>
<li>I hate it when that happens.</li>
<li>And what does it mean &#8216;rm: .o: No such file or directory&#8217;?</li>
<li>Why did it say &#8216;/bin/rm: not found&#8217;?</li>
<li>Nobody was using that file /vmunix, were they?</li>
<li>You can do this patch with the system up&#8230;</li>
<li>What happens to a Hard Disk when you drop it?</li>
<li>The only copy of Norton Utilities was on THAT disk???</li>
<li>Well, I&#8217;ve got a backup, but the only copy of the restore program was on <strong>THAT</strong> disk&#8230;.</li>
<li>What do mean by &#8220;fired&#8221;?</li>
<li>hey, what does mkfs do?</li>
<li>where did you say those backup tapes were kept?</li>
<li>&#8230;and if we just swap these two disc controllers like <strong>this</strong>&#8230;</li>
<li>don&#8217;t do that, it&#8217;ll crash the sys&#8230;&#8230;.. SHIT</li>
<li>what&#8217;s this hash prompt on my terminal mean?</li>
<li>dd if=/dev/null of=/vmunix</li>
<li>find /usr2 -name nethack -exec rm -f {};</li>
<li>now it&#8217;s funny you should ask that, because I don&#8217;t know either</li>
<li>Any more trouble from you and your account gets moved to the 750</li>
<li>Ooohh, lovely, it runs SVR4</li>
<li>SMIT makes it all so much easier&#8230;&#8230;</li>
<li>Can you get VMS for this Sparc thingy?</li>
<li>I don&#8217;t care what he says, I&#8217;m <strong>not</strong> having it on <strong>my</strong> network</li>
<li>We don&#8217;t support that. We <strong>won&#8217;t</strong> support that.</li>
<li>&#8230;and after I patched the microcode&#8230;</li>
<li>You&#8217;ve got TECO. What more do you want?</li>
<li>We prefer not to change the root password, it&#8217;s an nice easy one</li>
<li>Just add yourself to the password file and make a directory&#8230;</li>
</ol>
</blockquote>
<p>via <a href="http://packetstormsecurity.nl/unix-humor/100.things.sysadmin.says.html" target="_blank">Packetstormsecurity</a></p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Did you backup?!</title>
		<link>http://geschonneck.com/2006/11/26/did-you-backup/</link>
		<comments>http://geschonneck.com/2006/11/26/did-you-backup/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 26 Nov 2006 13:00:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alexander Geschonneck</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Backup]]></category>

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<p>SCNR  <img src="http://geschonneck.com/wp-content/plugins/more-smilies/Phoenity/cool.png" alt="cool" class="wp-smiley" /> </p>
<p style="text-align: center"><img src="/images/linie.gif" alt="line" /></p>
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